BREAKING NEWS: CADILLAC HAS LOST THEIR WAY

"Raphmoe" (raphmoe)
09/25/2014 at 09:04 • Filed to: car culture, cadillac, gm, news, journalism

(Detroit, MI) In an effort to placate investors and appeal to the soccer mom non car person crowd General Motors will be re branding their over priced, under-performing luxury cars in an entirely new naming structure. Because if the American car manufacturing industry learned anything from the bailout it is that the car buying public loves fractured naming conventions, embraces multiple divisions within a manufacturer and truly loves being confused by the american cars so it makes it that much easier to buy a Toyota, Lexus, Audi, Mercedes, or BMW. Bravo General Motors for sticking to your ways. Anyway, Cadillac had made a name for itself with the popular CTS; this is why the new flagship huge car will be called THE CT6! They chose this name because Phaeton was already used for a car name of a car that nobody in America wants because there are dozens of better options for the money. The CT6 will in no way whatsoever confuse customers with the CTS which is the smaller, more popular, car.

General Motors has also decided to move some of the Cadillac employees to New York; because if there's any city that is great for driving, it's New York! Such a smart, savvy, and in touch decision by !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . I digress, has Cadillac lost their way? Only time will tell.

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DISCUSSION (43)

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 09:12

under-performing luxury cars

I'm going to be the first person to take umbrage with that. And probably not the last. Or the most vocal.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
09/25/2014 at 09:23

Yeah, but the rest of it's pretty spot-on.

Milky > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 09:27

I don't give a shit what they call them.

Kinja'd!!!

Axel-Ripper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 09:27

Moral of the story, people don't give a shit what their car is named as long as it is non-offensive.

Also, alphanumerics probably translate better into other languages than something that sounds fancy in Murican. A lot of those names could take on other connotations in other languages or simply not translate as all.

Raphmoe > Milky
09/25/2014 at 09:35

hey, as long as people are buying them that is true. Do you currently own a cadillac?

Raphmoe > Axel-Ripper
09/25/2014 at 09:36

agreed, it is a tough balance to get right, let's see what happens.

Milky > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 09:44

Well this is my avatar, so no.

Kinja'd!!!

Tekamul > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
09/25/2014 at 09:54

It depends on what kind of under performing we're talking about.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t
09/25/2014 at 10:05

I realize that.

PRBot II > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 10:05

They chose this name because Phaeton was already used for a car name of a car that nobody in America wants because there are dozens of better options for the money.

There's only one Raphmoe.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Tekamul
09/25/2014 at 10:05

Okay. What kind of under-performing are we talking about?

Raphmoe > Milky
09/25/2014 at 10:12

damn, that is a sweet crossfire. How do you like it?

Raphmoe > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
09/25/2014 at 10:13

why are you taking umbrage with it? Let me know what I should clarify or re-edit in the post. Thank you for the advice and help.

Textured Soy Protein > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
09/25/2014 at 10:14

The article is from the Wall Street Journal, a newspaper that focuses on financial stuff, and talks about how sales of the ATS and CTS are down from last year. So I'd say they're talking about under-performing in sales.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 10:16

I think Caddy's cars of late are pretty darn good.

BrtStlnd > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 10:16

I will add Cadillac to THE LIST: http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/brands-that-ar…

Raphmoe > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
09/25/2014 at 10:17

they are darn good; but they are not selling as many as BMW, Mercedes, or Audi this is where the under-performing adjective came from.

Textured Soy Protein > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 10:17

Johan de Nysschen was hired away from Infiniti. Which probably explains why Cadillac is, like Infiniti, moving to a naming system that tries to be like Audi but will end up somewhat more convoluted.

Tekamul > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
09/25/2014 at 10:18

Luxury car sales are growing strong, for everybody except Cadillac, so they are under performing in revenue, the category that actually matters to GM

Raphmoe > BrtStlnd
09/25/2014 at 10:20

Good. They should be there; if only Cadillac was run by true jalops it would be making cars with names we could agree on and embrace and wonder why other people did not buy them.

Raphmoe > Textured Soy Protein
09/25/2014 at 10:21

Infiniti makes ugly cars with terrible names; this is even worse news for Cadillac than I thought.

Milky > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 10:23

I mean its no CTS V-sport, but I quite like it. Quick enough, fun enough and I feel classy.

Kate's Dirty Sister > PRBot II
09/25/2014 at 10:59

Waymoe needs to step up his game

PRBot II > Kate's Dirty Sister
09/25/2014 at 11:06

My theory is Waymoe knows exactly what he's doing, and it's all going to make sense in another month or two.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 11:09

Don't be knocking the Phaeton here, I know at least one guy on oppo has one and loves it very much.

Raphmoe > Jonathan Harper
09/25/2014 at 11:11

Knocking it where? Most people in America did not buy it, that is what I said in my article.

Axial > sm70- why not Duesenberg?
09/25/2014 at 11:13

Underperforming sales...which is what happens when you try and charge primo prices for your first generation of not-suck cars on the market when you have had a history of suck.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 11:30

They chose this name because Phaeton was already used for a car name of a car that nobody in America wants because there are dozens of better options for the money.

People want them, just not many people. And most of the people who want them can't afford them. There are other options, sure, but not many truly better ones.

Raphmoe > Jonathan Harper
09/25/2014 at 11:37

ok, nobody was an exaggeration for effect. a very, very, limited number of people actually bought them. Yes, you are correct. Wanting things we can not afford is part of the american tradition, it helps us grow stronger as a nation.

I am now curious, what car do you own and drive?

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 11:46

Don't own a car. Don't need one, I always drive other people's cars. I'm also a member of the Classic Car Club Manhattan, so when I do need one they hook it up.

Raphmoe > Jonathan Harper
09/25/2014 at 11:49

oh that is interesting, that sounds really expensive. How much are membership fees? I think maybe I should look in to that as my journalism career expands.

Currently I do not own a car either because as I review other cars I want to not be biased towards one car or another. Also, it is hard to park a car in the various places i sleep every night.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 11:55

Prices vary depending on what you're looking to drive, but in comparison to owning/insuring/maintaining/storing a car in NYC, it's a pretty sweet deal.

My approach is the opposite of yours. I believe that driving many different cars, with many different layouts, from many different eras gives me a better perspective of what works and what doesn't work in a car.

What cars have you reviewed so far?

Raphmoe > Jonathan Harper
09/25/2014 at 11:59

Most of my writing can be found here: http://raphmoe.kinja.com/

Your approach sounds similar to mine in that I do not want to own a car because then that one car is what you base your other reviews off of. It is better to never own a car and instead use a car club like you do or get cars from manufacturers to drive. It keeps it purer without the burden of ownership.

I would be looking to drive as many cars as I could. What price package do you use and recommend? Thank you for advising me on this as I am still learning.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 12:26

You should contact the Classic Car Club directly about rates when you're ready to pull the trigger. Base membership comes it around $6,500 all said and done, but most members end up spending between 10-15k a year.

Raphmoe > Jonathan Harper
09/25/2014 at 12:43

which package did you go with?

That seems like an awful lot of money to rent cars. You could buy an amazing car for $10-$15k.

i will definitely be saving up and hopefully get something fun to drive soon, or join this club.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 12:46

I worked there for 3 years and still work with them so I have a special deal.

Yes, it's expensive in the frame of "rental cars", but these are not rental cars. They are meticulously maintained classic and neo-classics, most of which are worth FAR more than the 10k members spend to be a part of the club.

waymoe > Jonathan Harper
09/25/2014 at 12:54

Waymoe will give $30. Waymoe wants a Corolla.

Raphmoe > Jonathan Harper
09/25/2014 at 13:05

well then, a special deal sure sounds better than $6,000 a year.

That is also good that they are not rental cars. So when you pay $10k a year after a few years of membership you get to choose which car to bring home with you for good? That is pretty sweet and I wonder if more people found out about it they would start paying more to drive these classic cars.

Jonathan Harper > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 13:08

No. It is not a financing program. It is a club, that lets you use their fine automobiles in return for money. There's also a membership cap, which has been reached and now there is a waiting list to join.

Leadbull > Kate's Dirty Sister
09/25/2014 at 17:46

Waymoe is life, and by default, is also game.

Kate's Dirty Sister > Milky
09/25/2014 at 18:01

sweet xts

GhostZ > Raphmoe
09/25/2014 at 18:22

Because if the American car manufacturing industry learned anything from the bailout it is that the car buying public loves fractured naming conventions, embraces multiple divisions within a manufacturer and truly loves being confused by the american cars.

To be honest, this sound exactly like what VAG is doing. But they're german so it's okay that they have idiotic naming and constant inter-company divisions and infighting.

Milky > Kate's Dirty Sister
09/25/2014 at 18:30

Kinja'd!!!